1
00:00:02,532 --> 00:00:04,646
Oh. Hey, Ash, guess what.

2
00:00:04,666 --> 00:00:06,601
Me and Lisa finally
set the date.

3
00:00:06,621 --> 00:00:07,728
We're getting married
in September.

4
00:00:07,748 --> 00:00:09,672
Oh, Will, that's great.

5
00:00:09,691 --> 00:00:11,556
Hey, listen,
I even bought the ring too.

6
00:00:11,576 --> 00:00:13,770
Really? How many carats?

7
00:00:14,488 --> 00:00:16,622
Come on, Ash,
it's not the size that counts.

8
00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:20,562
That small, huh?

9
00:00:20,582 --> 00:00:22,587
Well, I-I mean,
I-I-I didn't get the ring

10
00:00:22,606 --> 00:00:24,630
I wanted to get, you know.

11
00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:28,669
I-I couldn't afford
the real cubic zirconia.

12
00:00:28,690 --> 00:00:31,692
Hey, but check it out.
Presentation is everything.

13
00:00:31,712 --> 00:00:34,424
Check it out. Yo, G.

14
00:00:34,444 --> 00:00:36,668
I had Geoffrey bake the ring
inside of her favorite cookie.

15
00:00:36,688 --> 00:00:38,413
Aww.

16
00:00:38,433 --> 00:00:41,644
Nothin' says lovin' like
somethin' from the oven.

17
00:00:41,663 --> 00:00:45,413
- And Will Smith says it best.
- Hey, that looks great, G.

18
00:00:45,433 --> 00:00:47,592
- It certainly does.
- Uncle Phil!

19
00:00:48,585 --> 00:00:50,490
[theme song]

20
00:00:50,511 --> 00:00:53,754
♪ Now this is a story all about
how my life got flipped ♪

21
00:00:53,775 --> 00:00:56,592
♪ Turned upside-down
and I'd like to take a minute ♪

22
00:00:56,613 --> 00:00:58,761
♪ Just sit right there I'll tell
you how I became the prince ♪

23
00:00:58,781 --> 00:01:00,869
♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪

24
00:01:09,756 --> 00:01:11,966
♪ In West Philadelphia
born and raised ♪

25
00:01:11,986 --> 00:01:14,895
♪ On the playground is where
I spent most of my days ♪

26
00:01:14,915 --> 00:01:16,932
♪ Chillin' out maxin'
relaxin' all cool ♪

27
00:01:16,953 --> 00:01:19,132
♪ And all shootin' some b-ball
outside of the school ♪

28
00:01:19,862 --> 00:01:21,970
♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪

29
00:01:21,989 --> 00:01:24,067
♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪

30
00:01:24,088 --> 00:01:27,017
♪ I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared and said ♪

31
00:01:27,037 --> 00:01:29,145
♪ You're moving with your auntie
and uncle in Bel-Air ♪

32
00:01:29,164 --> 00:01:31,161
♪ I whistled for a cab
and when it came near ♪

33
00:01:31,182 --> 00:01:34,182
♪ The license plate said fresh
and it had dice in the mirror ♪

34
00:01:34,201 --> 00:01:36,178
♪ If anything I can say
that this cab was rare ♪

35
00:01:36,198 --> 00:01:40,262
♪ But I thought nah forget it
yo holmes to Bel-Air ♪

36
00:01:40,282 --> 00:01:43,343
♪ I pulled up to a house
about seven or eight ♪

37
00:01:43,364 --> 00:01:46,313
♪ And I yelled to the cabbie
yo holmes smell you later ♪

38
00:01:46,333 --> 00:01:48,390
♪ Looked at my kingdom
I was finally there ♪

39
00:01:48,411 --> 00:01:51,371
♪ To sit on my throne
as the prince of Bel-Air ♪♪

40
00:02:04,647 --> 00:02:06,603
[fast forward video on TV]

41
00:02:13,666 --> 00:02:15,822
What y'all watching,
a Rosie Perez movie?

42
00:02:18,668 --> 00:02:21,563
I wish, Hilary gave us a tape
of her talk show

43
00:02:21,583 --> 00:02:22,621
and made us promise to watch.

44
00:02:22,641 --> 00:02:23,669
It's been on for three
minutes

45
00:02:23,688 --> 00:02:25,685
and we're almost done.

46
00:02:25,705 --> 00:02:27,731
[fast forward video on TV]

47
00:02:41,608 --> 00:02:42,776
Oh, uh..

48
00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:43,794
I-it's nothing, babe, you know

49
00:02:44,513 --> 00:02:44,802
it's that thong underwear

50
00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:46,538
you bought me for Christmas.

51
00:02:46,559 --> 00:02:48,536
[mumbles]

52
00:02:48,556 --> 00:02:49,694
What's up, girl? Mwah!

53
00:02:49,714 --> 00:02:51,580
I just wanted to come over
and say

54
00:02:51,599 --> 00:02:52,648
thank you
for fixing my sink.

55
00:02:52,669 --> 00:02:54,615
- Oh, cool.
- Um, baby.

56
00:02:54,634 --> 00:02:57,579
How about meeting me
for a little midnight swim?

57
00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:59,616
Ooh. You got that, baby.

58
00:02:59,636 --> 00:03:01,723
- Where?
- My living room.

59
00:03:01,742 --> 00:03:03,638
Thanks to you,
my whole apartment is
flooded.

60
00:03:03,659 --> 00:03:05,656
It will be days
until I can get back in there.

61
00:03:05,675 --> 00:03:07,511
Oh, I-I'm, I'm sorry, baby.

62
00:03:07,532 --> 00:03:09,499
I'm, I'm usually pretty handy
with stuff like that.

63
00:03:09,519 --> 00:03:11,695
Tell her, y'all.
Didn't I just fix the toaster?

64
00:03:11,715 --> 00:03:13,682
[toaster dings]

65
00:03:18,503 --> 00:03:21,658
See? Before it wouldn't even
get past the door.

66
00:03:23,504 --> 00:03:25,601
Thanks, Will, in the
morning,
I'll set it on dark

67
00:03:25,621 --> 00:03:27,697
and it will meet me at
school.

68
00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:30,611
Maybe I should just call
my friend Denise

69
00:03:30,631 --> 00:03:31,709
and see if I can
stay over there.

70
00:03:32,429 --> 00:03:33,447
What you talking about, girl?

71
00:03:33,466 --> 00:03:35,522
You can stay in the pool house
with us.

72
00:03:35,543 --> 00:03:36,681
Carlton, is that okay with you?

73
00:03:36,701 --> 00:03:39,486
Are you kidding? Sure.

74
00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:42,660
I love a good old-fashioned
sleepover.

75
00:03:42,681 --> 00:03:44,647
What say we rent a musical

76
00:03:44,666 --> 00:03:49,478
pop some corn and after that,
dare I say, Yahtzee?

77
00:03:51,494 --> 00:03:53,411
Dare I say..

78
00:03:53,431 --> 00:03:54,489
Ow!

79
00:03:57,405 --> 00:04:01,637
Geoffrey, you look wonderful.
Is that a new suit?

80
00:04:01,657 --> 00:04:04,562
It was, 20 years ago.

81
00:04:04,582 --> 00:04:06,589
[laughing]

82
00:04:07,607 --> 00:04:10,362
Oh, that's funny.

83
00:04:10,382 --> 00:04:11,460
Oh, since I moved out

84
00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:15,493
I have really missed
your sense of humor, Geoffrey.

85
00:04:15,512 --> 00:04:17,559
Your wit.

86
00:04:17,579 --> 00:04:19,626
Your charm.

87
00:04:20,345 --> 00:04:21,602
Your wit.

88
00:04:22,561 --> 00:04:24,398
Your..

89
00:04:24,416 --> 00:04:27,381
Oh, who are we kidding? I
need
you to come work for me,
okay?

90
00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:29,498
Miss Hilary,
I already have a job.

91
00:04:29,518 --> 00:04:32,492
Well, then, just part-time.
Look, I'm a career woman.

92
00:04:32,512 --> 00:04:36,376
I don't have time
to dust and push around
that..

93
00:04:36,395 --> 00:04:37,533
Oh, what do you call
that big loud thing

94
00:04:37,554 --> 00:04:39,491
that sucks up everything?

95
00:04:41,377 --> 00:04:43,423
You call him daddy.

96
00:04:48,434 --> 00:04:49,463
I-I'm sorry, Miss Hilary

97
00:04:49,482 --> 00:04:51,519
but he'd never allow me
to moonlight.

98
00:04:51,540 --> 00:04:55,453
I'm expected to be on call
for his 3:00 a.m. feeding.

99
00:04:55,472 --> 00:04:57,379
Well, then I'll just use you
in between meals.

100
00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:59,336
Daddy will never even know
you're gone.

101
00:04:59,355 --> 00:05:02,280
Are you suggesting that I
lie?

102
00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:03,501
Big time.

103
00:05:03,522 --> 00:05:05,555
Miss Hilary, I couldn't.

104
00:05:06,275 --> 00:05:08,408
I've worked for your father
for 20 years.

105
00:05:08,427 --> 00:05:11,440
He's seen me through
some very hard times.

106
00:05:11,461 --> 00:05:14,494
Even paid for my dear
mother's
cataract surgery.

107
00:05:17,387 --> 00:05:20,581
The extra money could get you
that Beemer.

108
00:05:21,301 --> 00:05:24,404
Well, it's not as if
he gave her a kidney.

109
00:05:27,427 --> 00:05:30,411
[imitating Ricky Ricardo]
Hey, Lucy, I home.

110
00:05:30,431 --> 00:05:32,383
Hey, baby.

111
00:05:32,404 --> 00:05:35,547
No, Lucy, don't even try.
You cannot be in the show.

112
00:05:36,577 --> 00:05:39,551
- Hey, girl. Mwah!
- Mwah!

113
00:05:39,571 --> 00:05:41,332
Man, what is that smell?

114
00:05:41,353 --> 00:05:43,596
Oh, it's my chicken stew.

115
00:05:44,317 --> 00:05:46,589
Girl, exactly what part of
that chicken are you
cooking?

116
00:05:49,322 --> 00:05:50,563
Come here, boy,
I want you to taste it.

117
00:05:50,582 --> 00:05:52,525
Why?

118
00:05:52,546 --> 00:05:56,430
I-I-I mean, I'd love to, baby.

119
00:05:56,450 --> 00:06:00,494
- I made it especially for you.
- Oh, thank you.

120
00:06:13,477 --> 00:06:15,550
[coughing]

121
00:06:15,571 --> 00:06:18,364
Oh, damn, I swallowed it!

122
00:06:19,475 --> 00:06:20,556
What?

123
00:06:20,576 --> 00:06:24,590
Oh, and it was
finger-licking
good, baby.

124
00:06:24,610 --> 00:06:26,412
[knocking on door]

125
00:06:26,431 --> 00:06:28,404
- Hi, kids.
- Hey, Mr. Banks.

126
00:06:28,425 --> 00:06:30,417
Do you wanna stay
and join us for dinner?

127
00:06:30,436 --> 00:06:32,608
Uh, no, thank you, Lisa,
as lovely as that stinks..

128
00:06:32,628 --> 00:06:34,630
Uh, uh, smells.

129
00:06:34,650 --> 00:06:36,522
'I wouldn't wanna interrupt.'

130
00:06:36,543 --> 00:06:39,537
I just came over to talk
to you kids about your marriage.

131
00:06:39,557 --> 00:06:41,529
[sighs]
Come on, Uncle Phil. Not again.

132
00:06:41,549 --> 00:06:43,441
Look, we're getting married
in September.

133
00:06:43,460 --> 00:06:44,631
No, no, Will. Come on.
Now, wait a minute.

134
00:06:44,651 --> 00:06:47,474
Now, your aunt and I have
been
talking about this, and..

135
00:06:47,495 --> 00:06:48,677
Well, we just wanna make
sure
that you get off

136
00:06:49,396 --> 00:06:50,638
to the best start possible.

137
00:06:50,658 --> 00:06:53,661
Which is why we're giving you
this little engagement present.

138
00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:59,639
"Note. Buy Reese's Pieces
for desk jar."

139
00:07:02,681 --> 00:07:04,693
Other side.

140
00:07:05,414 --> 00:07:07,406
Oh. My fault.

141
00:07:07,426 --> 00:07:09,568
"Dr. Whitehorn.
Psychologist?"

142
00:07:09,589 --> 00:07:12,533
His specialty
is relationship counseling.

143
00:07:12,552 --> 00:07:14,514
Oh, Mr. Banks,
Will and I are in love.

144
00:07:14,535 --> 00:07:15,706
- We don't need any counseling.
- Yeah.

145
00:07:16,426 --> 00:07:19,629
But I could damn sure go
for some Reese's Pieces.

146
00:07:19,650 --> 00:07:21,592
No. Now, look, look, look, Will.

147
00:07:21,611 --> 00:07:24,595
Look, marriage is difficult
at any age.

148
00:07:24,615 --> 00:07:27,488
Now, all counseling will do
is give you tools you need

149
00:07:27,508 --> 00:07:29,440
to help make
your relationship work.

150
00:07:29,460 --> 00:07:30,651
I mean, you wouldn't drive a car

151
00:07:30,672 --> 00:07:33,636
without taking at least
a few lessons first.

152
00:07:33,656 --> 00:07:36,709
Look here, Uncle Phil,
I'm from Philly.

153
00:07:36,729 --> 00:07:38,561
You know what I'm sayin'?

154
00:07:38,580 --> 00:07:41,463
I was driving when I was 11,
you know.

155
00:07:41,484 --> 00:07:43,506
Of course, that was in the good
old days before The Club.

156
00:07:43,525 --> 00:07:45,447
You know what I'm saying?

157
00:07:45,467 --> 00:07:47,600
That'll put a crimp
in the plans, you know.

158
00:07:47,621 --> 00:07:49,533
Hey, look, Uncle Phil,
hey, thanks a lot, man

159
00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:51,575
but, uh, we both go to school
and we work.

160
00:07:51,594 --> 00:07:52,675
We really don't have time
for that.

161
00:07:52,696 --> 00:07:55,539
Oh, well, that's a shame.

162
00:07:55,559 --> 00:07:57,582
Because I was gonna pay
for your honeymoon

163
00:07:57,601 --> 00:07:59,683
anywhere in the world
you wanted to go.

164
00:08:02,527 --> 00:08:05,480
[grunting]

165
00:08:05,499 --> 00:08:09,514
Hey, baby, what's Swahili
for ching-ching?

166
00:08:11,717 --> 00:08:13,659
But, you know, I-I guess
what I'm trying to say is

167
00:08:13,678 --> 00:08:15,650
you know, we don't really
need to be here. We happy.

168
00:08:15,670 --> 00:08:17,572
- Tell him, baby.
- Yes, very happy.

169
00:08:17,593 --> 00:08:20,627
Yeah. Hey, like, y-you know them
little yellow smiley faces?

170
00:08:20,647 --> 00:08:23,620
Just put some Hershey syrup on
them, you got us, you know.

171
00:08:25,552 --> 00:08:27,524
Great, then all I have to do
is give you the skills

172
00:08:27,544 --> 00:08:29,737
you need to maintain
that enthusiasm.

173
00:08:29,756 --> 00:08:30,787
Oh, uh..

174
00:08:31,507 --> 00:08:32,789
...if you mean
what I think you mean

175
00:08:33,510 --> 00:08:35,612
I got skills, you know.

176
00:08:36,773 --> 00:08:38,685
Actually I was talking about
interpersonal

177
00:08:38,706 --> 00:08:40,658
relationship skills.

178
00:08:40,677 --> 00:08:43,561
Oh, yeah, that's what I meant.
That's what I was sayin'.

179
00:08:44,763 --> 00:08:47,596
The two most important being
respect and communication.

180
00:08:47,616 --> 00:08:48,787
You see, it's very
important..

181
00:08:48,806 --> 00:08:53,632
Oh, excuse me.
Dr. Whitehorn. Ugh, it's
you.

182
00:08:53,652 --> 00:08:55,724
Listen, Rita,
you are sucking me dry.

183
00:08:55,745 --> 00:08:58,568
Look, you want more alimony

184
00:08:58,587 --> 00:09:01,530
you talk to my first two wives,
alright?

185
00:09:04,604 --> 00:09:05,646
Never get married on a dare.

186
00:09:05,665 --> 00:09:06,756
[chuckles]

187
00:09:10,570 --> 00:09:12,812
Now, uh, where were we?

188
00:09:12,832 --> 00:09:15,726
Um, respect and communication.

189
00:09:15,747 --> 00:09:17,749
Ah. That's right, that's right,
uh, but look, for now

190
00:09:17,769 --> 00:09:20,712
before tomorrow's group session,
I'd like to ask questions.

191
00:09:20,731 --> 00:09:22,553
Oh, cool, questions.
Knock yourself out.

192
00:09:22,573 --> 00:09:23,714
(Dr. Whitehorn)
'Okay, uh..'

193
00:09:23,734 --> 00:09:25,837
'Where do you see yourselves,
uh, 10 years from now?'

194
00:09:26,558 --> 00:09:27,639
Ah, that's an easy one,
that's an easy one.

195
00:09:27,660 --> 00:09:28,761
Ten years, I see us, you know

196
00:09:28,781 --> 00:09:30,853
kind of like the Huxtables,
you know what I'm sayin'?

197
00:09:31,573 --> 00:09:32,754
Except I'm not gonna be
delivering babies

198
00:09:32,775 --> 00:09:35,628
I'm gonna be making them,
you know what I'm sayin'?

199
00:09:35,648 --> 00:09:38,762
But first, I figure we'd start
out with Will, Jr., you know.

200
00:09:38,782 --> 00:09:40,844
Then Willfred, then Willoughby

201
00:09:40,863 --> 00:09:43,796
then Willard, you know.
Then Willis.

202
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:45,869
Will, stop.

203
00:09:46,589 --> 00:09:48,691
Will Stop?

204
00:09:48,711 --> 00:09:50,764
[scoffs]
That ain't no good name.

205
00:09:52,756 --> 00:09:55,679
Now, Willstafa, you know.

206
00:09:55,700 --> 00:09:56,795
That's strong,
you know, like

207
00:09:56,815 --> 00:09:58,805
kind of a Lion King
kind of feel.

208
00:09:58,825 --> 00:10:01,628
You know, Will Simba.

209
00:10:02,814 --> 00:10:04,894
Uh, we'll come back to that.

210
00:10:04,913 --> 00:10:06,853
Look, let's take another
question.

211
00:10:06,874 --> 00:10:08,813
Oh, where will you be living?

212
00:10:08,832 --> 00:10:10,671
That's an easy one. Right, baby?

213
00:10:10,691 --> 00:10:12,841
- Yes. Cleveland.
- Philly.

214
00:10:13,826 --> 00:10:15,846
Oh, this ought to be good.

215
00:10:15,866 --> 00:10:18,720
[instrumental music]

216
00:10:18,740 --> 00:10:19,925
Well, that new little
Beemer of yours

217
00:10:19,947 --> 00:10:22,740
runs like a dream, doesn't it?

218
00:10:22,759 --> 00:10:24,839
How should I know,
you've been hogging it

219
00:10:24,859 --> 00:10:27,743
ever since I signed the papers.

220
00:10:27,763 --> 00:10:28,858
Just come on upstairs.

221
00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:30,828
You know that table
in daddy's study?

222
00:10:30,849 --> 00:10:32,849
I need you to carry it
out to the car.

223
00:10:32,869 --> 00:10:34,949
It's a pool table.

224
00:10:36,978 --> 00:10:39,089
Duh. Heh-heh!

225
00:10:39,811 --> 00:10:41,027
Miss Hilary, I'm sorry

226
00:10:41,048 --> 00:10:42,977
but I have duties here
to attend to.

227
00:10:42,996 --> 00:10:46,915
Besides, I'm still worn out
from last night.

228
00:10:46,936 --> 00:10:50,091
Oh, please. I just had you do
a little yard work.

229
00:10:50,111 --> 00:10:52,150
I don't believe blacktopping
your tennis court

230
00:10:52,874 --> 00:10:55,145
falls into that category.

231
00:10:55,165 --> 00:10:57,175
You are so lazy.

232
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:03,193
Not too lazy to quit.

233
00:11:03,918 --> 00:11:06,088
- Geoffrey, where have you been?
- Yes.

234
00:11:06,107 --> 00:11:09,102
The last thing you said was,
"I just need to step outside

235
00:11:09,122 --> 00:11:11,242
for a little fresh air.
I'll be right back."

236
00:11:11,966 --> 00:11:13,131
That was seven hours ago.

237
00:11:13,152 --> 00:11:15,062
Oh, don't get into a hissy fit,
sir.

238
00:11:15,082 --> 00:11:19,171
- I left dinner in the oven.
- Oh, thank goodness.

239
00:11:19,191 --> 00:11:22,206
I thought we were gonna
have to eat what daddy gave us.

240
00:11:22,226 --> 00:11:25,160
God help us, you'd think a guy
who eats so much

241
00:11:25,179 --> 00:11:28,224
would at least know
his way around the kitchen.

242
00:11:28,245 --> 00:11:32,164
- Lisa, hi. Where's Will?
- Will who?

243
00:11:34,223 --> 00:11:37,267
Will, wa-was there a problem
in therapy?

244
00:11:37,288 --> 00:11:39,338
Man, we are this close
to breaking up.

245
00:11:39,357 --> 00:11:42,221
Boy, that stuff
doesn't work at all.

246
00:11:42,241 --> 00:11:44,381
[instrumental music]

247
00:11:48,190 --> 00:11:50,220
[microwave beeping]

248
00:12:02,217 --> 00:12:03,433
Oh, thanks, babe.

249
00:12:03,454 --> 00:12:05,464
Oh, God! Don't hurt me!

250
00:12:10,448 --> 00:12:12,478
What is your problem?

251
00:12:12,498 --> 00:12:15,261
Me?

252
00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:19,299
Baby, yo,
just tell me one thing..

253
00:12:19,319 --> 00:12:21,440
Did you put somethin' on

254
00:12:21,460 --> 00:12:24,565
or did you take somethin' off?

255
00:12:24,585 --> 00:12:27,549
Trust me, Will, the next time
I decide to take something off

256
00:12:27,570 --> 00:12:30,575
you will be too old
and blind to care.

257
00:12:31,569 --> 00:12:33,619
Listen, this is just stupid.

258
00:12:33,638 --> 00:12:35,648
We shouldn't be
fighting like this.

259
00:12:36,371 --> 00:12:38,421
[sighs]
Okay, baby, you're right.

260
00:12:38,442 --> 00:12:40,603
I'm, I'm sorry. Aww.

261
00:12:40,623 --> 00:12:42,663
Hey, put it there, dude.

262
00:12:44,450 --> 00:12:46,430
You have some nerve.

263
00:12:46,450 --> 00:12:48,640
So you expect me to be
a gourmet chef

264
00:12:48,661 --> 00:12:53,676
raise eight kids and look
beautiful 24 hours a day?

265
00:12:53,696 --> 00:12:56,519
Too much?

266
00:12:56,539 --> 00:12:59,584
And what exactly
are you gonna be doing?

267
00:12:59,603 --> 00:13:01,753
- I'm gonna be supporting y'all.
- Oh, on what?

268
00:13:01,773 --> 00:13:06,587
That one-figure salary that
you pull down at the Peacock?

269
00:13:07,613 --> 00:13:09,552
Oh, no, you did not.

270
00:13:12,627 --> 00:13:13,732
Oh, no..

271
00:13:16,735 --> 00:13:18,625
You know what?

272
00:13:18,646 --> 00:13:20,645
I could yell

273
00:13:20,665 --> 00:13:22,615
I could scream.

274
00:13:22,634 --> 00:13:25,779
I could even
call you some names.

275
00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:27,659
But you know what?

276
00:13:27,679 --> 00:13:30,827
One of us has to be
the mature one.

277
00:13:30,847 --> 00:13:33,886
And it ain't gonna be me,
Aunt Jemima!

278
00:13:36,643 --> 00:13:38,602
Ooh.

279
00:13:38,622 --> 00:13:41,640
[instrumental music]

280
00:13:45,618 --> 00:13:46,817
- Hello, everyone.
- Hi.

281
00:13:46,838 --> 00:13:48,777
Yeah, what's up?

282
00:13:49,817 --> 00:13:51,626
Um, Will,
we're sitting over here.

283
00:13:51,645 --> 00:13:52,804
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
now, there you go

284
00:13:52,825 --> 00:13:54,854
trying to tell me where to sit.

285
00:13:54,873 --> 00:13:57,751
Look here. I sit
when and where I please.

286
00:13:57,772 --> 00:14:01,820
You know what I'm saying?
'Cause I'm the man. I'm theman.

287
00:14:03,628 --> 00:14:06,626
Now, you give me one good reason
why I should sit over there.

288
00:14:06,647 --> 00:14:08,706
Because your name
is on the seat.

289
00:14:12,603 --> 00:14:14,652
I knew that.

290
00:14:14,673 --> 00:14:16,622
And you know how I knew that?

291
00:14:16,642 --> 00:14:19,760
- 'Cause you're the man.
- 'Cause you're the man.

292
00:14:19,780 --> 00:14:22,638
Oh, you see what I'm saying?
They recognize.

293
00:14:23,707 --> 00:14:26,735
- Hello. Welcome.
- 'Yeah, whatever.'

294
00:14:26,756 --> 00:14:28,585
Well, tonight
we're here to benefit

295
00:14:28,604 --> 00:14:30,563
from each other's experiences.

296
00:14:30,583 --> 00:14:31,772
Those of us who are just
starting out together

297
00:14:31,793 --> 00:14:32,823
and others who have had long

298
00:14:32,842 --> 00:14:34,761
and nurturing relationships.

299
00:14:34,782 --> 00:14:36,691
(George)
'Get the lead out, Weezy.'

300
00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:39,758
(Louise)
'I'm walking as fast as I can,
George.'

301
00:14:49,673 --> 00:14:52,622
- Hello, Louise, George.
- Hey, Whitey.

302
00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:57,599
That's, uh,
that's Dr. Whitehorn.

303
00:14:57,619 --> 00:15:01,547
Yeah, yeah, Horny.
Where do you want me to sit?

304
00:15:01,566 --> 00:15:02,655
Never mind,
I'll sit wherever I want

305
00:15:02,675 --> 00:15:05,703
'cause I'm the man.
I'm the man.

306
00:15:05,723 --> 00:15:08,752
Tonight, why don't we begin
with a simple exercise?

307
00:15:08,773 --> 00:15:10,652
I'd like each one of you
to say three things

308
00:15:10,671 --> 00:15:12,590
that you like
about your partner, okay?

309
00:15:12,611 --> 00:15:14,779
Uh, George, why don't you start?

310
00:15:25,662 --> 00:15:27,691
Well?

311
00:15:27,711 --> 00:15:29,570
Well, what?

312
00:15:29,590 --> 00:15:32,688
The man said to name
three things you like about me.

313
00:15:32,708 --> 00:15:34,757
Fine. Your mother died.
Your mother is dead.

314
00:15:34,778 --> 00:15:37,527
Your mother
ain't living no more.

315
00:15:42,573 --> 00:15:44,592
[laughing]

316
00:15:47,790 --> 00:15:49,799
[coughing]

317
00:15:52,638 --> 00:15:54,677
Okay, let's, um,
let's try role reversal.

318
00:15:54,696 --> 00:15:57,585
No, uh-uh.

319
00:15:57,606 --> 00:16:00,524
It'll help give you insight into
how your partner perceives you.

320
00:16:00,543 --> 00:16:01,742
Now, uh, who'd like to go first?

321
00:16:01,763 --> 00:16:04,662
- Oh, I'd like to.
- Oh, great, Lisa.

322
00:16:04,681 --> 00:16:05,750
Show us Will.

323
00:16:15,706 --> 00:16:17,644
[imitating Will]
Who the man?

324
00:16:19,693 --> 00:16:21,722
I'm the man.

325
00:16:21,742 --> 00:16:23,791
'Cause I ain't spending no $4.95

326
00:16:24,510 --> 00:16:27,638
on some stank skeezer
to take her to the salad bar.

327
00:16:29,498 --> 00:16:31,587
'Cause if a honey wants to go
with me to the Sizzler

328
00:16:31,607 --> 00:16:34,725
she gots to be all that.
She gots to look good.

329
00:16:34,745 --> 00:16:37,553
Yeah.

330
00:16:37,573 --> 00:16:38,703
You know what I mean?

331
00:16:38,723 --> 00:16:41,781
'CauseI'mtheman.

332
00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:49,636
Nicely done.

333
00:16:50,716 --> 00:16:52,725
I believe it's my turn.

334
00:16:52,744 --> 00:16:55,512
Go ahead, Will.

335
00:16:55,532 --> 00:16:57,571
Um, oh, excuse.. Um..

336
00:16:57,592 --> 00:16:59,771
Ca-can I borrow this
for a second? Thank you.

337
00:17:00,490 --> 00:17:03,508
- Hey! Man.
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

338
00:17:03,528 --> 00:17:05,677
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

339
00:17:08,636 --> 00:17:10,525
[inaudible]

340
00:17:12,493 --> 00:17:13,622
[imitating Lisa]
Tsk.

341
00:17:21,488 --> 00:17:22,747
You want some popcorn?

342
00:17:24,586 --> 00:17:26,605
Tsk. Why you screaming?

343
00:17:26,626 --> 00:17:28,655
What, I'm supposed to be a cook,
I'm supposed to be a cleaner

344
00:17:28,675 --> 00:17:30,614
I'm supposed do everything
you want. What you gonna do?

345
00:17:30,634 --> 00:17:33,472
Tsk.

346
00:17:33,491 --> 00:17:36,610
Tsk. Tsk. Listen, you need to
stop acting so stupid.

347
00:17:36,631 --> 00:17:38,589
You need to get a job,
or do something

348
00:17:38,609 --> 00:17:39,709
so you can buy me
something nice.

349
00:17:39,728 --> 00:17:41,507
You ain't never bought me
nothin' nice.

350
00:17:41,527 --> 00:17:42,706
You just be acting all dumb.

351
00:17:42,726 --> 00:17:44,565
And why you talking about
your uncle all the time?

352
00:17:44,586 --> 00:17:47,525
He ain't fat. He is big-boned.

353
00:17:49,653 --> 00:17:52,532
And I thought I had it bad.

354
00:17:54,470 --> 00:17:56,658
- And it's about to get worse.
- Ow!

355
00:17:56,679 --> 00:17:58,658
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Now, none of that.

356
00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:00,647
If you can't verbalize your
aggressions

357
00:18:00,667 --> 00:18:04,455
then, uh, here, try a bataka.

358
00:18:04,474 --> 00:18:06,463
- Oh!
- Oh!

359
00:18:07,532 --> 00:18:09,591
- And this is for mama.
- Hey!

360
00:18:09,612 --> 00:18:11,651
And this is for calling me Weezy

361
00:18:11,671 --> 00:18:15,539
when you know I'm sensitive
about my asthma.

362
00:18:15,558 --> 00:18:17,587
Try this on your asthma,
huh?

363
00:18:17,608 --> 00:18:20,606
Hey, hey, hey, time out!
Time out now! Stop it!

364
00:18:20,626 --> 00:18:23,714
Look it, why don't we all just
take a five-minute break, okay?

365
00:18:32,718 --> 00:18:35,587
- Hey, how are you doing?
- Fine.

366
00:18:35,608 --> 00:18:37,507
Man, she always been like that?

367
00:18:37,526 --> 00:18:38,675
Nah, she used to be mean.

368
00:18:38,695 --> 00:18:40,704
[laughing]

369
00:18:42,503 --> 00:18:43,642
We tied the knot 40 years
ago

370
00:18:43,663 --> 00:18:45,502
and I've been swinging from
it
ever since.

371
00:18:45,521 --> 00:18:46,551
[laughing]

372
00:18:46,572 --> 00:18:47,651
Yeah, I hear you, man.

373
00:18:47,671 --> 00:18:49,630
Sure, there's women like that
make you realize

374
00:18:49,650 --> 00:18:52,438
why God made darkness.

375
00:18:52,457 --> 00:18:54,516
- Hey, man!
- What?

376
00:18:55,557 --> 00:18:58,445
- You insulting my wife?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

377
00:18:58,464 --> 00:19:00,543
Hold up a second there,
cul-de-sac.

378
00:19:02,413 --> 00:19:05,531
Look, I, I am twice your size
and half your age.

379
00:19:05,551 --> 00:19:07,580
You need to just chill out
a little bit.

380
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:09,409
Your mama.

381
00:19:11,458 --> 00:19:13,627
Oh, no. You didn't just
talk about my mother.

382
00:19:13,648 --> 00:19:16,677
Okay. Well, I'll talk about
your daddy instead.

383
00:19:16,696 --> 00:19:19,535
Your daddy is so fat
that when he went to school

384
00:19:19,556 --> 00:19:21,646
he sat next to everybody.

385
00:19:25,554 --> 00:19:26,684
Pfft.

386
00:19:27,404 --> 00:19:30,663
But still he wasn't as fat
as your fat mama.

387
00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:37,520
Oh! Come on with it!

388
00:19:37,541 --> 00:19:39,420
Stop it! Stop it right now!
Stop it.

389
00:19:39,439 --> 00:19:41,448
You're not supposed to..
Stop it right now, okay.

390
00:19:41,468 --> 00:19:42,528
Stop it or I'll charge you
double.

391
00:19:42,549 --> 00:19:45,428
- What?
- Who you talking to?

392
00:19:45,447 --> 00:19:48,596
- Oh, that is so juvenile.
- I know it.

393
00:19:48,617 --> 00:19:51,606
I have never seen
anything so stupid.

394
00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:56,614
You calling my husband stupid?

395
00:19:56,635 --> 00:19:59,644
Honey,
the only thing stupid here

396
00:19:59,663 --> 00:20:02,502
is your big-eared boyfriend.

397
00:20:03,642 --> 00:20:06,502
He looks like a car
coming down the road

398
00:20:06,521 --> 00:20:08,521
with both doors open.

399
00:20:13,609 --> 00:20:16,618
Oh, no, Miss Thing.
It's on now.

400
00:20:16,638 --> 00:20:19,507
Alright, sister, bring it on.

401
00:20:21,466 --> 00:20:23,485
(Dr. Whitehorn)
'Hey! Come on, you're missing
the whole point here.'

402
00:20:23,505 --> 00:20:24,665
Stop it! Stop it right now!

403
00:20:25,386 --> 00:20:27,575
You're supposed to verbalize,
not beat each other up!

404
00:20:27,595 --> 00:20:29,544
You might as well be taking
karate.

405
00:20:29,564 --> 00:20:31,594
- Coward!
- I hear you.

406
00:20:31,614 --> 00:20:34,643
[instrumental music]

407
00:20:38,460 --> 00:20:40,570
Hey, what's up, Uncle Phil?

408
00:20:40,591 --> 00:20:44,480
- What in the world happened?
- Man, we got into a huge fight.

409
00:20:44,499 --> 00:20:46,388
Uh, a fistfight?

410
00:20:46,408 --> 00:20:47,658
No, we used bats.

411
00:20:49,447 --> 00:20:51,416
- On each other?
- Oh, no, no.

412
00:20:51,436 --> 00:20:53,416
We beat up this old couple.

413
00:20:54,506 --> 00:20:56,486
Yeah, but they had it
coming,
right, baby?

414
00:20:56,506 --> 00:20:58,395
- Yeah, baby.
- That's what I'm saying.

415
00:20:58,414 --> 00:20:59,434
I can't believe
what I'm hearing.

416
00:20:59,454 --> 00:21:01,533
I mean, th-that's terrible.

417
00:21:01,554 --> 00:21:04,413
Oh, no, no, no.
This was at therapy, Uncle Phil.

418
00:21:04,432 --> 00:21:06,472
Hey, y-you know,
it actually helped us out a lot.

419
00:21:06,492 --> 00:21:09,431
W-we decided we're not gonna get
married in September after all.

420
00:21:09,451 --> 00:21:11,420
Ooh. Okay,
if that's your decision.

421
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:14,649
Yeah. We're gonna move
the wedding up to May.

422
00:21:15,370 --> 00:21:17,369
You know, I mean,
we saw tonight that

423
00:21:17,388 --> 00:21:18,628
you know, we got our little
petty differences

424
00:21:18,648 --> 00:21:21,387
but when push come to shove,
we've got each other's back.

425
00:21:21,407 --> 00:21:23,626
Oh, well, I'm really glad
you two are getting along.

426
00:21:23,646 --> 00:21:26,415
But that's still no reason
to move up your wedding.

427
00:21:26,435 --> 00:21:29,364
Well, you know,
that's not the only reason.

428
00:21:29,384 --> 00:21:32,384
We wanna miss the rainy
season
in the motherland.

429
00:21:32,404 --> 00:21:35,393
That's where you're sending us
for our honeymoon. Oh.

430
00:21:38,472 --> 00:21:39,561
That's from the travel agent.

431
00:21:39,582 --> 00:21:42,621
She says she could retire
on this one.

432
00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:45,359
[chuckling]

433
00:21:45,550 --> 00:21:47,370
Thanks.

434
00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:51,648
Pinch me, Geoffrey.

435
00:21:52,367 --> 00:21:54,517
Not on what you're paying
me.

436
00:21:56,366 --> 00:21:59,475
But for 35,000,
I'll slap you silly.

437
00:21:59,496 --> 00:22:01,525
[instrumental music]

438
00:22:07,354 --> 00:22:09,513
[theme music]

439
00:22:09,533 --> 00:22:14,391
♪ Yeah ♪

440
00:22:14,410 --> 00:22:15,490
♪ Yeah ♪

441
00:22:18,609 --> 00:22:20,388
♪ Yeah ♪

442
00:22:23,467 --> 00:22:24,597
♪ Yeah ♪

443
00:22:28,386 --> 00:22:29,436
♪ Yeah ♪

444
00:22:32,556 --> 00:22:34,345
♪ Yeah ♪